What Can I Bring?
Instead ask, Can I bring and [fill in the blank].
Dear Friends,
This week in our Tuesday Top Ten, Kristy and I shared our top ten hostess gifts complete with a source for your gift tags. In addition to showing our appreciation when we arrive, we often ask, “What can I bring?” Sometimes the host truly doesn’t want us to bring anything and isn’t that lovely. Sometimes, she sort of does, but can’t think what to suggest or is concerned that asking may inconvenience you.
Let us suggest a few guidelines to gracefully and thoughtfully navigate wanting to help. These may seem obvious and yet, I want you to know I’ve experienced each of these situations and appreciate being on the receiving end when done thoughtfully and when done well … you’ll see.
Instead of asking, “What can I bring,” consider asking, “May I bring an hors d’oeuvre?” or “May I bring the dessert, I already have [fill in the blank] in my freezer.” This tells the host this is easy for you - not an inconvenience.
Another option. Offer to prepare something she is planning to serve. “I’d love to take one thing off your plate — so to speak — and prepare something from your menu. Just tell me what you need.”
If your host lets you bring something, bring it ready to serve. Do not be the person who when asked to bring a salad, walks in with grocery bags full of everything she needed to make the salad. If all the items are prepped, then yes, this is okay, but please don’t plan to wash your lettuce and dice your celery in your host’s kitchen. This is not helpful.
If you have brought something, clear your serving dishes and utensils and take them home without the host washing them for you.
If the hosts declines your offer, respect her wishes. Please don’t walk in with something anyway. Yes, that has happened to me before. I put my dessert away and served hers.
A suggestion for what to keep in your freezer. See below for Irwin’s Super Brownies, a crowd pleaser. If you don’t like to cook or bake, keep Lemon Squares and Brownies in your freezer made by someone else!
Forever in good company,
Irwin’s Super Brownies
YIELDS 24 • Adapted from In Order to Serve, Christ Episcopal Church
INGREDIENTS
1 box German chocolate cake mix
¾ cup butter, softened
⅔ cup evaporated milk, divided
1 14-oz pkg caramels
1 6-oz pkg chocolate chips
1 cup chopped pecans, optional
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DeeDee Dalrymple
Effortless Entertaining
www.myeffortlessentertaining.com
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DeeDee is the author of her step-by-step guide, Effortless Entertaining. She continues the conversation with her weekly newsletter, The Dish, her 30 Days to Effortless Entertaining workshops, and her Speaking Engagements. Find DeeDee here.
Kristy McCormally
Truitt House Living
www.truitthouseliving.com
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Kristy writes Truitt House Living — letters, columns, and the Dear Mom, How Do I Host columns. Come find the rest of the conversation here.
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Recipe Attachments
I love this question when hosting, but I have to say I love it even more they way you said it. . . just makes life easy and simple. Thank you.
This is super helpful! You are the best! And the brownie recipe looks amazing. Can’t wait to try it!